i have been so low people look at me and they know,
they can tell that something is wrong
like i dont belong,
well, staring through a window standing outside ther just too happy to care
and i want to be like them but i will mess up again,
i tripped them out when god kicked outside everybody's soul.

and i know that its a wonderful world
but i cant feel it right now,
i thought i was doing well
but i just want to cry now.
well i know that its a wonderful world from the sky down to the sea,
but i can only see when im gone,
gone as in dead.

listening to: dad screaming at my door telling me to do something with my life.

I hate my room.
The clutters used to make me comfortable but now everything in my room reminds me of all those times which makes me so sick that i slept in the living room last night.

ms lee is always staring at me as if she knows what evil i did last night and her look just stays in my head.
maths gave me 'the talk' and though he keeps on harping that it isnt to frighten us, i get so scared that cry in my bed.
just thinking of mr lee looking at me screwing up the pieces sends shivers down my spine.
the fact that i passed both chinese test didnt seem to cheer me up a single bit but the fact that i flucked my english made me sick all the way home.

i feel empty and ashamed.
everybody is everything i want to be.
emotions are swallowing me up everyday and leaving me with less and less of myself.

ugly's the name of the world we are all in.
if im right then prove me wrong.

i decided not to do links.
nothing lasts forever anyway.

Maybe someday we will see each other again,
And by then you might have forgotten me.
Maybe we wont even see each other again,
But guess what, its okay.

I never thought it would hurt so much,
If so how i wished we didnt start.
You are going away now and it just sucks,
To see you packing your bags and saying :good luck.

You were the one who brought love into my world,
And made sure that you were always near.
You wrote me a poem so here i am,
Writing one to you just to say thanks.

Stop saying that everything is alright,
Stop saying that everything's fine.
Both of us knew there would be this day,
So lets not cry and smile instead.

I will not forget the first time we both kissed,
The rain poured down when we touched lips.






screwscrewscrew.

listening to:here's to the night-eve 6

new year was kickass.
went over to peep's house to celebrate(:
i was so down and rotten during new year's eve and those people totally cheered me up and gave me so many words of encouragement that made me want to cry.
i want to thank you guys so much.
here's a shoutout to you guys.

charissa:
i love you girl. thanks for standing by me when i faced all the shit. thanks for listening to my secrets and allowing me into yours(:yeah. we are going to be in different classes next year, so i am going to be an insecure freak and tell you not to forget me. 2007 is going to be a great year for you. someone's coming to st.nicks(:

sancia:
hello.we kinnda took a break from everything didnt we? hahah. promise me to take care of char and pinch ryan's buttcheeks for me. (oh my,this is beginning to be like a soap oprea kindda thing) i love you((: dont feel sad about the man. everyone has to say bye someday(:

am:
yeah man.thanks so much for the party(: im going to be alright. thanks for the nights, laughs,songs and poems(: i will certainly miss your holy presence.(inside joke)

mich:
i love the cake(: thank you so much for sitting with me and just hearing me crap.you are the coolest chick i have met(: whatever you are planning to do isnt going to be as easy as getting another piercing, think twice for me ya?

hd:
bye whimp. i hate to say this but i think i am going to miss you. do what you have to do before you take off. i know she isnt just another one of those one-night-stands you have all the time. take care.

here's a toast to all those
who hear me all too well
here's to the nights we felt alive
here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
here's to goodbye
tomorrow's gonna come to soon.

<3